Tuesday, September 21, 2021

Who bring up children better – working mothers or stay at home moms?


The mother in a woman whether she is working or stay at home is just the same. A mother’s love is selfless, she would go any length to protect and nurture her child. It’s the way Almighty fashioned her. Once she becomes a mother, the woman changes forever! Motherhood brings perspective she didn’t have earlier. The focus shifts, priorities change and she begins to realise her limitless zeal and capacity when it comes to her child. She will bend and stretch to any length to make her child comfortable and looked after. Even if it comes at the cost of her own sanity. She can’t help it. The motherhood juices flowing in her veins by now make her incapable of thinking about herself before her kids. 

All said and done. It still takes a village to raise a child and it is not the sole responsibility of a mother to single handedly take up this humongous task. But many women do it any way, with help or without it. A few women are lucky enough to have that support system, and I use the word “few” because there really is a dearth of such support. If the immediate family and helpers are there to ease her task then she can manage work as well as home in a very efficient manner without having to compromise on her career. But when this support system is missing, she has to take tough decisions of choosing children over her career. Even if she is a stay at home mom, she still needs that support system to help her raise the kids. So working or not – a mother’s task is never easy. 

Now, the question comes that do all women who stay at home focus on their children’s upbringing? Is the stay at home mom better than the working mom? The answer is no. Staying at home doesn’t guarantee good upbringing skills. It depends on how educated the mother is, how she has been brought up, how sound is her mental and physical health, how good she’s being looked after! If she is a happy and content person, she will create a conducive environment for upbringing her children. A troubled mother, whether the reason for her troubles is work place pressure or family and home problems, is never going to be able to impart good upbringing. 


A stay at home mother does have the advantage of being there for her child 24x7, which is impossible for even the most efficient working moms. This is a very crucial factor in the learning years of a child, especially when the child starts interacting and expressing itself. The child’s need for a mother is never ending and her presence makes the child feel secured and this helps in building the confidence and all the skills that the child learns as it grows. No one in the world can compare/compete to a mother’s patience with a child. Be it a father or a grandparent or a nanny, no one is going to encourage the child and be as patient with it as a mother can. Although the child will grow up just fine under the wings of these people but the ‘extra edge’ or compassion can only come through a mother. 


With the growing technology and ease of communication, it is also possible to be present 24x7 remotely from your workplace or there can be work from home options. It all depends on the priority the mother sets. If her work is so crucial that it cannot take a back seat for a few years, then she can create a support system to bring up her kid. Else if there is an option to be a full time mom, it is always in the best interest of the child, but if the mom is doing it half-heartedly then there is no point being a fulltime mom. All a child needs is a happy and content mother because the child is a reflection of her and if she’s an unhappy person the child will be no good either.

Thursday, September 2, 2021

Mann chahta hai

mann dur kahin jaane ko
betaab hamesha rehta hai
koi sagar ho kuch ret ho 
koi hara bhara sa khet ho
pag dandi ho koi lehrati
phoolon ki bagiya madhmaati
koi shaam suhani dhalti si
koi subha rang badalti si
in rangon mein sab ghul jayein
mann k sare dukh mit jayein
hum so jayein sab bhool jahan
Koi na pukare hamein wahan